I feel like I’ve been wanting to write a post about this for a while but it has taken me time to really form my thoughts on this subject. I recently watched an episode of Girls where Hannah has to deal with the decision about having a baby or not and she happens to meet a version of herself on a stoop. This version of Hannah is an actress and has two babies and she gives Hannah some unexpected advice “Kids are super easy. It’s being an adult that’s hard”. While I hate to be that person that comes to some sort of realization while watching a dumb show, this dumb quote really resonated with me. Being an adult is hard.
I’m not going to get super specific about how I came to be pregnant and whether it was planned or not but, I will say that Lukasz and I were two semi-adults when everything happened. And even the most prepared person will be caught off guard when that pregnancy test comes up positive. Up until that point, my free time was spent lounging around, wasting money on crap and alcohol and probably watching TV during my free time. Free time… remember that? It’s really funny how having to raise a baby really, sort of, throws you into just being an adult and making adult decisions… or “Adulting” as the kids are calling it these days. Now I have to think about how I spend money a little bit more and having a baby girl really affects every decision I make, right down to my eating habits. How can I expect my daughter to eat healthy when I’m eating burgers all the time? Lukasz and I have been thinking lately about how to advance in our careers and making a five year plan about what property to buy in the future, something with an extra bedroom in case we have another baby and a yard for our dog.
While it all seems pretty understandable, it’s just all so new to me. Also! Kids are not easy. But I’m going to really blame Petra on this one. I’ve met other 10 month old babies and Petra has a crazy amount of energy that it’s hard to keep up with her sometimes. But ok, all of that aside, I remember when Lukasz and I were thinking about getting a dog and we really wanted to wait for the right time because a dog was a “big responsibility” and we had to walk it twice a day and feed it. In hindsight, I laugh at us back then and how silly we were. Now if someone tells me “I can’t get a dog, I just don’t have the time for it.” I roll my eyes and shake my head and juts walk away before this rage boils up inside of me and manifests itself in word vomit. A dog is a piece of cake and babies are hard. BUT they’re worth it. My daughter is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me in my life and even if I’m exhausted every single day, I go to sleep grateful and happy to be her mother. And I’d do it all again a million times over.